Everything takes at least 3 times longer with a baby. I intended to write and publish this WEEKS ago.
Alas, ladies & gents, I finally present you my “Merci 2015” post told in pics and captions. Last year, I wrote a similar blog (Merci, 2014) with the intention of digesting all the good that came into my life. I’ve learned that when you practice gratitude, you create space for more gifts in your life. And, well, 2015 showered me with gifts alright. It did not go AT ALL how I planned it. Finding out I was pregnant, and subsequently rearranging everything in my life to prepare for the baby, threw all my desires and plans out the window. This resulted in an initial period of deep grieving and mourning, followed by surrender and acceptance.
Oh, how I’ve come to loathe the expression “get your body back.” As in, “don’t worry, it’s only a matter of time before you stop looking pregnant, because let’s face it, you no longer are.” Or, “yes, you may have a newborn in your hands, and you’re hardly getting any sleep, but let’s talk about how to look like none of this happened or is happening.”
Homebirth. Home. Birth. We actively sought it out. And we got it. But truthfully, we had no idea what it is that we had asked for. And so, we went into this whole thing like a couple of blind bats. Though I’m not sure that’s an appropriate analogy, because I’m certain that bats have a good sense of direction and are not just blindly flying into cave walls. Because when all is said and done, that’s kind of what it feels like right now. We flew into wall after wall, breaking every bone in our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies that it’s truly a miracle we found our way out and into the light.