16.7.14

Putting yourself first is not selfish. Not doing so is.

selfish-isnt-a-dirty-word
Contrary to popular belief, caring for everyone else first, and yourself last, is the most selfish thing you can do. Allow me to elaborate.

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I know all about self sabotage. I’m familiar with total and complete lack of self care. And thus, because I did not care for myself, I was completely incapable of truthfully caring for others.
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In my case:
I know pretty well what it’s like to repetitively overeat. Today, I have a beautiful relationship with food, but there was a time when I would eat till I’d lose consciousness. I’d wake up the next day bathed in self loathing.
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Side effect other than a sad body and sad digestion: My outlook on life and people. Negativity clouded my vision. Most of my energy went towards putting myself and others down. And of course, how I treated myself created the blueprint for how others treated me. From time to time I would emerge from these phases, by upping my exercise routine or doing a cleanse. Temporary bandaids. Thing is, I don’t recall feeler any happier; only sadder at how I had treated myself.
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On the outside, I faked it. The secretive overeating; the secretive self mistreating and self abusing. I went on my day-to-day faking health and happiness. I mean, I was still an “active” citizen and I wasn’t obese, so this illness, this lack of self care, was not evident to the outside world.
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Why I behaved in this way is irrelevant. My intention in sharing this is simply to tell you that I know well what it’s like to mistreat myself. To be at the bottom of that pit called self loathing. And, in turn, to be on the receiving end of the same stuff from other people. I allowed it all. Year after year.
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My intention is also to tell you that it took an intense amount of work over many years to heal. The answer is not a pill, it’s not a cleanse, it’s not a retreat or a class or a coach or a book.
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Of course all those things were major components along the way. Frankly, without those tools and without my teachers and without other people who modeled what I wanted for myself, I’m not sure I would be where I’m at today.
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Where am I at, anyway?
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I’ve healed my addictions. All of them (food was but one). I worship food, I bless it, and I’m mindful of my interaction with it. My love for myself has allowed me to create boundaries which define what I allow into my life. My devotion to self care is my offering to myself, my Higher Self, so that I can fully show up to do the sacred work I came here to do. I am surrounded by people who appreciate and love me, people who respect me and my boundaries. I have the courage to release those who don’t.  I do work I love. I’m deeply deeply in love with my life. I am a fierce guardian over how I treat myself. And when I slip, slide and fall from grace, which does happen occasionally (hello, imperfect human!) I have nurtured the of practice of forgiveness, because let’s face it, we’re all doing our best and our best sometimes sucks.
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So what is the answer?
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For me, self care was the answer. Only I knew how I was hurting myself. Being honest about it with myself led me in search of antidotes. Like medicine, I began to take doses of things that made me feel good. Sometimes I’d go to extremes. But extremes helped me find my happy medium. And once I took care of the basics, I began to delve in deeper, and I now seek and practice forms of overall self care: spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical self care.
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I believe that not taking care of ourselves is a rather selfish act. We lose respect for ourselves, as do others. We lose our health and thus become the responsibility for others to take care of. We spend all our time sick (whether spiritually, mentally, or physically), thus neglecting the work we came here to do. (Work that is much needed in this world.)
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pretty much says it all.

pretty much says it all.

And it’s not just health. It can be money. Relationships. Etc, etc. But truly it starts with ourselves. How we treat and care for ourselves spills out into EVERYTHING else in life.
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Because ultimately, how we treat ourselves is how we treat everything and everyone else. And how in gods name are we ever gonna heal the planet if we don’t start with ourselves?
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Once I decided that self care was the answer, the next thing I did was pray. At first it was on an unconscious level (deep inside I knew I wanted to feel better). And over time, my prayer became more intentional. I have my angels I pray to. Pray to whomever or whatever you believe.
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Pray for help. What you need and who will then reach you. In pretty awesome and miraculous ways. Luckily, we are blessed with so many healers around the world today that can help guide us.
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These days, when I wake up, before I open my eyes or even gain full consciousness, the words “thank you” flow through my lips. A smile follows. Yet another beautiful day to love and care for myself is here, another day where I can shine my light from that place of self love.
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There’s loads of self care practices. Here I share my favorite. But I’m always on the lookout for new practices, so definitely feel free to reach out and share what you got.
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Cheers, to (exquisite) self care!
Mishel


Welcome:

My name is Mishel Ixchel. I’m Ecuadorian-born &
NYC-bred. Western Mass is currently home, and it's also where I practice + teach the art of
Sacred Self Care.

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